Goldilocks and the Three Bears Vocabulary Challenge
A Vocabulary Challenge Tale: Do you need some help learning some definitions and usage of some more challenging vocabulary words?
Try out this parody of an old, traditional tale called "Goldilocks and the Three Bears."
Part 1. Introducing The Three Bears
What was arcane was that these 3 bears actually had a wooden house out in the middle of the woods. Shhhhh! It's a secret. Not many people were cognizant about the existence of these particular bears back while this tale took place.
No, I'm not dissembling! I wouldn't dissemble to you. They actually had a wooden house in the middle of the woods.
Of course, it was totally atypical of other bears. Perhaps it was just endemic
to the particular forest where these 3 bears lived. I realize it seems impossible; nevertheless, these 3 bears were certainly not like your average bear. They were an aberration. For not only did they live in a wooden house, they also could talk using human speech. I realize this could be totally inscrutable to you. I must admit, it is hard for me to comprehend. In any case, I guarantee you, aberrant as it sounds, my tale is true.
Naturally, this happened a long time ago. It was so long ago, it was antebellum. Yes, it happened before World War II. It happened before World War I. It even happened before the Civil War. But it didn't happen so long ago that it was antediluvian. No, it happened hundreds of years after Noah took that 40-day ride in his ark. So don't accuse me of being anachronistic. I tried to assign it as correct a date as I could get. So to be succinct, if that is possible, just know it happened once upon a time.
I assure you it was as enigmatic to me upon my initial hearing of the tale as it must be to you now. I was puzzled for days. Imagine, a bear who not only lives in a human house but can actually talk using human speech.
I realize it could appear to be a recondite tale, but hard to understand as it is, it is true.
There you go again, scratching and shaking your head at me. I am not trying to be delusive or fallacious. For the last time, I assure you, my tale is true. After all, I am a person known for my veracity. I always tell the truth.
Before I become guilty of being any more prolix, pleonastic, voluble, and discursive than I already have been, I will get on with my tale.
The long cold winter was finally over. It was a pretty vernal day. The trees were budding and numerous early blooms were out in profusion.
It was ante meridian. Mama Bear had made the morning porridge.
Baby Bear came bounding in. In his mostvociferous voice, he yelled. "Mama, Mama, Mama, I'm voracious!" He hopped on to his chair at the dinette, dipped his spoon into that boiling porridge, and got ready to devour his breakfast.
Mama Bear was normally a very placid, easy-going bear. But now was not the time for that. She must avert the mishap that was about to take place.
"Cease, you callow,puerile baby bear! Granted, you are young and inexperienced, but you must get that spoon aboral. If you do not, there will be great inimicalness to your tongue." She hoped she remonstrated in time.
Fortunately for the fate of Baby Bear's tongue, he was a tractable bear. He always obeyed his parents.
Baby Bear dropped the spoon and began to cry. "Mama, it is abstruse to me why you are yelling. All I did was start to eat my breakfast. I don't understand. Why do you want to derogate me, making me feel belittled?"
"I'm sorry, Baby Bear. It was necessary that I be as incisive and objurgate as possible. so that you did not burn your tongue. I am so glad you obeyed my stricture.
Be more prudent, Baby Bear, before you next stick a heaping spoonful of food in your mouth. You never know when it might be harmful. And my darling Baby Bear, I wasn't trying to stultify you or to make you feel foolish or weak, I was simply trying to save my beloved Baby Bear from getting hurt."
Seeing that Baby Bear was still crying, she tried harder to mitigate her previous harsh words with loving actions. She suddenly felt very amorous and took her darling child into her arms. "There, there, it's all right now. Stop crying! Mama Bear loves you very much."
Baby Bear slowly calmed down until he felt better. "I'm still voracious, Mama!" You can eat as soon as we get back from our walk. The porridge should be just the right temperature then."
"Papa Bear," Mama Bear called.
Papa Bear replied, "Yes, dear?"
Mama Bear said, "The porridge is much too hot to eat. I advance that we go for a walk. Does that proposal meet with your approval?"
Papa Bear was in accord with that idea. ""Yes, not only do I agree to go, but I am pleased. This will be quite a novelty," Papa Bear commented good-naturedly. "We haven't ever gone on a before-breakfast walk before. I love doing new and novel things like that."
So the three pedestrians set off to walk until the porridge should be just the right temperature to eat.
As they walked, Baby Bear thought, "I'm hungry. I can't wait to get back from our morning walk."
Part 2. The Appearance Of Goldilocks
The salient feature of Goldilocks was her golden locks of hair which was in concord with her name. Do you think her parents accorded her that name once they saw how golden was the little girl's hair? Hmmmmmm!
Goldilocks was very salubrious. In fact, she was simply brimming with good health. Her glowing cheeks and bouncing golden locks were two certain signs of how brimming with salubrity she was. If truth be known, she was also pulchritudinous. Her beauty was a sight to behold!
Goldilocks found the house of the three bears, entered uninvited, and proceeded to help herself to the porridge she saw sitting on the dining room table. Oh, my!
Papa Bear's porridge tasted quite acerbic to Goldilocks, perhaps because Mama Bear flavored his porridge with Papa's favorite extra bitter plant spices. "Yuk! This porridge has been adulterated. It is way too hot. And I'm talking about spicy hot!"
On the other hand, Mama Bear's porridge was totally insipid. Not only was it cold, it had no interesting taste to it at all. "What a bore!" Goldilocks mutttered.
When Goldilocks sampled the porridge belonging to Baby Bear, she found it to be quite delicious and very tempting. She proceeded to eat it up, every bite.
Next, Goldilocks felt a bit tired. She entered the living room and wished to sit down. She found the chair belonging to Papa Bear too hard and the chair belonging to Mama Bear too soft. On the other hand, the chair belonging to Baby Bear looked extremely comfortable. She plopped herself down. Unfortunately, she was too heavy. The chair broke all to pieces and Goldilocks fell to the floor.
Admittedly, this was a very negative thing that happened to Baby Bear's chair. It was broken to bits and couldn't be fixed.
Goldilocks was so traumatized by this that she said, "I must lie down and take a nap. She walked into the bedroom. She found the bed belonging to Papa Bear too hard. She found the bed belonging to Mama Bear too soft. Happily, she found the bed belonging to Baby Bear just right. She lay herself down and fell fast asleep.
Part 3. The Return Of The Three Bears
When the bears came home to definite signs of trespassers, Papa Bear said, "I had a premonition that I should have put locks on our door. Then we could have occluded our house from intruders. Next time, I'll listen to my instincts."
Papa Bear directed, "We must inveigh against this intruder. When we find him or her or it, we will impress upon the vandal with our clever wordings that this must never happen again!"
As they searched the house, they found the porridge to be tampered with, Baby Bear's chair broken to pieces, and a little girl sleeping in Baby Bear's bed. The three bears growled in displeasure. Goldilocks woke up in alarm.
The bears were normally not minatory, deleterious, and nocuous, but they must protect their property from vandalism. So Goldilocks did have some reason to be afraid for life and limb. "Please, please, please don't harm and injure me!" Goldilocks begged.
Actually, the bears were pacifists. They believed strongly in using peaceful measures to accomplish their ends; however, if intimidating her into believing they meant to harm and injure her would teach her a lesson, they were willing for the little girl to get that impression.
Papa Bear growled, "Young lady, we will disabuse you of the notion that you can ever again enter a house uninvited."
As for Baby Bear, he was implacable. First his mother yells at him. Then his porridge had been eaten. Then his favorite and only chair has been broken. And finally, this blondie girl is lying on his bed. He opens his mouth and gives that girl the harangue or her life.
Baby Bear was not pugnacious normally. He didn't ordinarily want to pick a fight. He was just having a very bad day.
Goldilocks thought fast. "Please, I am really, really sorry I ate your porridge and broke your chair. I can't replace the porridge; however, I promise I will try to make it up to you for breaking your little chair."
Mama Bear tried to assauge Baby Bear's feelings. "Baby Bear, I can make you some more porridge and this girl will buy you a new chair. It's going to be okay!" Then she turned severely to Goldilocks.
"I hope your pretty speech to buy Baby Bear a replacement chair wasn't just a euphemism.
Goldilocks was startled. "Goodness gracious," she thought, "when I mentioned making restitution, that Mama Bear took it to mean I would buy them a new chair. What I really meant was that I would run errands or do odd jobs to allay my wrong-doing."
Goldilocks said, "Uh, Mrs. Bear. I'm just a little girl and my family is impecunious. We don't have enough money to buy you a chair. Couldn't I just run errands and do odd jobs to work off my debt?"
Baby Bear, still upset said, "Oh, Mama, we don't want that pestiferous girl hanging around here. No telling what she might break or steal next."
Goldilocks was quite chagrined and embarrassed to be the opprobrium of such an event. She realized that the bears had every right to oppugn her until their scornful well of words ran dry. But she, like Baby Bear, was callow and puerile. She didn't really know any better.
Goldilocks realized she was definitely culpable. She deserved every bit of the blame and criticism from the bears. She said, "Oh, noble bears. I hope my mistakes are not irrevocable. I would like to make restitution in any way I can."
The three Bears decided to forgive Goldilocks as long as she ran errands for them, did chores, and promised to never enter their house uninvited again. Eventually, she and Baby Bear became great friends.
Epilogue:
These 3 bears were the precursor of all the brown bears today.
Perhaps you did not enjoy my parody of an old, traditional tale, —but if it helped you internalize the definitions and usage of the underlined vocabulary words, then I am content. My employment of the feature of circumlocution definitely made the story very long and grandiloquent, but it was a necessary means to an end.
Originally published by Ms.Debbie Dunn
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1681181/goldilocks_and_the_three_bears_vocabulary.html
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